Tuesday, 24 March 2009


I am in quite a large mood right now. (:


Empathy is evidently a thing of the past.


Monday, 16 March 2009


Hai hai hai.

yesterday I went to big eye, drama worksop extrodinaire, with Hazel, Laura and Dani. I didn't feel like posting a blog about it cause I didn't have any pictures, now I do, and I've got nice little editey ones.
just in case you don't know, from left to right it's Hazel, me, Dani, Laura. I got bored and played aruond with the settings on PSP on a few of the photos. These were all taken by usk river, before big eye, cause we got the bus in early (11 o clock on a sunday counts as early, mmkay?)
I should probably point out that none of these photos were taken by me, I just edited a couple up (rather badly), although the photo above was my idea, and I'm proud.
We also like our jumpey-shot pictures, and this was my favourite of the many we took (suprisingly, it wasn't the one with my monster boxers showing, although that was quite epic, especially after Hazel edited over it in a censorey way)

lulz, we're SUCH posers. I also discovered the "clarify" feature that Dani uses lots on this picture, I'm not too sure it worked too well, but it's clarify! clarify is the secks.
I look happy, Hazeleykins does not. But I know that she was really. I think she was planning to rape my shoulder and got caught, therefore thwarted. (:

Sundays are win, really. (:

Sunday, 15 March 2009

I'm putting off doing English homework, so I'm going to do another one of theseh

Will you talk to the person you like on the phone tonight?

Ever had a near death experience?


Where’s your cell phone?

don't know, don't care. I never get interesting texts anymore.

What is the last thing you thought about?

why is that fox humping the snow?

Do you regret anything?

yes, I regret most things I do.

If you found out you were pregnant who would you tell?

noone for a long time, probably eventually the father.

What are you going to do this weekend?
the weekend has just been and gone. NEXT weekend I'll go to work, go to dad's, come home, go to a caravan park party and then go to big eye.

When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
2.5 hours ago.

Do you prefer revenge or just pure jealousy/envy?
envy. I'm a complete wuss.

Who would you like your next “fling” to be with?
I can think of many people.

Would you curse in front of your parents?
I do it all the time.

What kind of camera do you have?
a broken one. *cries*

Would you rather go to a party or out of town?
out of town.

Are you slowly drifting away from someone close?

When was the last time you held someone’s hand?
today. for a photo. They did it to humour me.

Who can you tell everything to?

Can you play guitar hero?
yes. (:

Is any part of your body sore?
yes. ):

Missing someone right now?
my dad.

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn’t be?

When was the last time you saw the person you last kissed?
I'm not answering that.

Do you like your phone?
it's okay, but the camera has deteriorated and the memory is crap.

Last alcohol beverage?
half an hour ago? lemoade and rum. s'guurd

Have you ever slept in a bed with the opposite sex?

Have any of your best friends ever back stabbed you?
all the time when I was small, as a result, it doesn't take a lot for anyone to upset me, so I overreact to everything.

If you had to move in with a friend, which one would you pick?
none would actually want to live with me, because I am insamely annoying and they'd all threaten me with painful death, so I would live on my own.

What’s the seventh text message in your inbox say?
urgh now I have to go and find it.
":) x"
that was not worth the ducking effort.

When is your next road trip?
erm, I have my first driving lesson tomorrow, does that count?

What did you do on the weekend?
work, big eye.

Met anyone new in the past week?
I did, actually last sunday.

What do your best friends call you?
Cat/Catherine (depending on how patronising they feel)

Who was the last person to go to the movies with you?
that was "Twilight" with Hazel, Caitlin and Laura. And it was SO awesome cause we had pizza. The film was meh, the chick who played Bella couldn't act for toffee.

Are you fighting with someone?
don't have the bollocks to fight anyone.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
don't know.

Who/What would you like to see right now?
A drunken epileptic on a roller-coaster.

Are you mad at someone right now?

What’s the nicest text in your inbox say?
"You want someone whacked? :)"

Do you mainly use your house phone or your cell phone?
Cell phone? what are you, some form of American? MOBILE because mum doesn't like paying phone bills.

Is there an empty place in your heart?
yeah, but Ive grown accustomed to it, so it feels like home. :)

Do you count down the days till anything?
er, no.

Are you looking forward to something as of right now?

Have you ever been called a tease?
nope. I don't see why anyone would want me of all people to "tease" them..?

What are your chances of getting with your crush?
exceedingly low to highly impossible.

What is the farthest you’ve traveled with a friend?
Australia. Then she decided to make other friends and leave me on some town, so I got lost and cried. Oh, three guesses who THIS was, people. ¬¬

Are any of your friends so close that you consider them family?
yeah (:

Anyone told you a secret this week?
nope, I am not in circels of trust, apparently.

Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
It turns itself off because the memory is utter crap.

Do you hate anyone?
I fluctuate between dispise/loathe to dislike.

Last time you wore the opposite sex’s clothing?

What do you want in your life right now?
love. There is a discusting lack of it.

When was the last time you laughed so hard you thought you were going to cry?
I don't remember (how depressing)

Did you tell someone something today?
yeah. I put a stickey note on someone saying "I eat babies, yum." They thought I was an arse, so they took it off him.

Do you trust people easily?
not anymore.

What were you doing at 9pm Friday night?
watching death note.


1. friends.
2. family (sometimes)
3. acting
4. panic at the disco
5. my cat.


1. inuendoes
2. scrubs.
3. Yu-gi-oh abridged.
4. Top gear.
5. Parody songs.


1. blue coats. (unless they're nice) otherwise they are foul-mouthed little arses.
2. scene queens. They're famous for having giant hair and being anorexic? Where is the logic there?
3. lost is still going. We get it, they're marooned on some island where the laws of logic don't seem

feasible. enough, already.

4. people who walk/drive slow and you're stuck behind them, and you have somewhere to be.
5. not being able to find something that I need, like my iPod.


when I upset someoone I love.
2. when people don't listen.
3. when people are inconsiderate.
4. when the dog dies in "I am legend"
5. dead baby polar bears.


1. happieness
2. fulfillment
3. love
4. fame
5. Brendon Urie and having his children.

THINGS YOU DREAM ABOUT: (I stole this from Caitlin's facebook, not Dani's blogger :P)

1. Go bananas with a runaway Catherine, Jared Leto and Brendon Urie. (Best. dream. ever.)
2. Oh look, it's an elephant. I will call him Larry. I need to buy some spices now. I'm lookoing at weird fabrics, now. Oh, they'll do. Come on Larry. Let's go for a stroll.
3. YOU SCREWED MY FRIEND! that is punishable by the tearing off of your balls. Oi, stop running away, you arse.
4. Where is it? Oh god where is it? There is it!! *runs* Oh no, it's running away from me. Come BACK big orange bed! come back! I must sleep in you! I cannot sleep anywhere else, big orange bed! without you, I'll be forced to never sleep ever. Come BACK. (dad found me sleep walking for this one. I was looking for my big orange bed in the bathroom cabinet, I wouldn't give him a cuddle because he wouldn't help me find it.)
5. Oh, erm, hai. I appear to be naked, but you havn't realised. If I don't react to me being naked, you won't notice and all will be I must go and find clothes.

Saturday, 14 March 2009

My Camera, Has broken.

My camera broke. I came home from work and mum had just popped out to Hereford (which is an hour away by her driving) and I had no key, because I do not TAKE my key places on a saturday, because I have enver needed to. So I went for a walk. and took some rather quite pretty photos.
Then I found an ideal setting for a self-timer. So I set my camera up nicely, it was balanced, there was no wind. The bridge thing it was balanced on was nice and thick. And what happened? I took a few photos I wasn't happy with cause they wern't quite right so I played around with the settings and eventually found a perfect one, I just needed to not look undead.
and what happened?
Camera fell off the bridge. Into the stream. And I don't get how.
Came home, mum was still out, but had let Adam and his friend in, so I could get in to. I went upstairs and told Adam about it. I was pretty close to tears and what does he do? laughs.
They start having a mock-hissy fit because apparently almost crying is comical to kids with un-dianosed asberges syndrome....I sense a sibling argument coming along.

S'fine, mum came home and apologised for going out without warning me. So I'm not angry with her anymore. I am, however, angry with Satan who seems to be picking on me. :(

It's fine though, my camera is in the airing cupboard to dry it off. If that doesn't fix it, it's probably insured. If not, I'll get it repaired, cause I love it and it can be fixed.
dammit people, it CAN.

Friday, 13 March 2009

I have no idea why I bother with anything anymore

There is a long list of things not to bother with in my life.
These include:
posting blogs (noone reads them)
being nice (it gets you nowhere)
drama (cause I'm really not very good, let's face it)
attempting to start a conversation with my mother (she might as well have no ears. All she hears is her own voice, which you hear sub-consciously in your head 2 seconds before you speak. Also, she interrups me, so my input is usually "yeah bu.." "I thi.." "well c'mo.." etc)
joining modeling competitions (I am the averagest looking person you could ever meet, so actually becoming a model isn't going to happen)
Talking to anyone ever about anything (they do not care.)
Talking a point of view (it is always wrong)
aiming high in general (not talented, not pretty, not anything special, not going to get anwhere spectacular, I'm being so optimistic.)
hoping to find "mr right" (just look at yesterdays "noone will ever love me" rant, cause it's still pretty permement.)

I woudn't worry, I'm usually this pessimistic this time of day. Either cause being tired makes me more depressed. Or just more honest with myself. Who knows. oh oh oh oh heavy metal is playing on itunes, don't normally do, but I do right about now.

..I'll just work in wiggies on minimum wage for the rest of my'll be fine. Free hot chocolate and lunch and nice people I work with are all good in the hood.

okay...on the bright side I have found a formula for goodness
film 4 + death note (both films) + sky plus + the keep feature that neither mum nor Adam know how to work so they cannot delete it without telling me = win.

Mudkips are funny.

As are pokemon in general. (:

Thursday, 12 March 2009

I stole this from Hazel.

Where were you at 2:02 AM this morning? In some random guys bed, cause Im'ma hussy. Otherwise I was asleep in MY bed. but that's way less likely....8-)

What was the first thing you thought this morning? "I wonder how long I can stay in bed to until I have to get up...should I wash my hair? I mean, the hairdresser washed it in the salon yesterday, so I think I'll be fine...I'll check when I get up" (just so you know, it was fine, so this got me another 5 minutes in bed)

What are you doing tomorrow? school, it's comic relief, so I'm dressing up as a (lookbookey) pokemon.

How's your heart lately? Not too good...I keep having panic attacks...I nearly collapsed today...that wasnt too fun.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? Probably not. I'm seen more as a friend or one of the guys than potantial girlfriend by pretty much every guy I know.

What are you listening to? Fallout boy.

Does anything hurt you? Does anything hurt me? Oh god, yes. Most things do. Then I don't confront anyone if they inadvertantly upset me and bottle everything up, so I'm really good. (:

Do you need to say anything to anyone? yes, but I'm not going to. Im'ma chicken. =D

What were you doing at 7AM? being woken up by MGMT, electric eel.

How do you feel? tired and a little sad.

How did you meet the 2nd person on your top friends? erm...Hazel I think. I've known her yeears, I first became aware of her on the introduction day to the comp we had in year 6. She was in my form and we were doing drama and she was working with the tiny girl (Laura) and that weird teacher who seemed to be stalking them (it was Lydia, she was just a very tall year 6) and I was all "duude, she has big eyes. I wish I had big eyes"

What is making you happy at the moment? Well at this present moment in time I'm inclind to say noone, as I am alone, and probably will be for a long long long time.. *sobs*

Have you ever cried while in the shower? nope

Do you trust people easily? No, but then it takes a lot to break the trust, but once one person does, then my trust in everyone else is shaken, which is unfair. It's been done, and not in the too distant past.

When was the last time you were given roses? Never....this blog is sure making me feel loved. *shakes fist*

Do you drink tea? Yes, it's addictive. Milk, no sugar. I'm sweet enough apparently.

Whose car did you drive in last and where to? Mum's to lidl's to help with the weekly shop (and slip snaks in the trolly)

Do you wet the toothbrush before the toothpaste? I don't have any particular order..?

Where do you like to keep your money? in my bra...

Do you watch the news daily? noes. (:

What are/were you doing at 12:00 this afternoon? waiting outside some place for someone who wasn't actually there. cause I'm an idiot.

Would you ever dye your hair blonde? Yep.

Are you single? Very much so. :(

What's the closest pink thing to you?a little pink thing on my t-shirt.

What did you do yesterday? went to school, then went to work then came home, watched t.v, went on msn, went to sleep.

Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone? yes, actually.

Do you know anyone who's pregnant? Yeah, my psycology sister had a baby recently, Oscar, and he is absolutely perfect, and I love him SO much. I want a bab..whut?

Is something bothering you? something is ALWAYS bothering me.

Where are you? The moon.

What are you wearing? jeans, t-shirt, grey cardigan.

Could you live without a computer? erms...yes, but life would be hella boring

Have you ever kissed someone with braces? don't think so, no.

If you could change your eye color what would it be? white (y'know, like zombies have?) or black (giant-looking pupils make you seem attractive to the opposite sex)

How many pillows on your bed? 2.

Is there someone you can't stop thinking about? yeas

When was the last time you cried from laughing so hard? can't remember.

What school did you attend in primary? Millfields. Bullied lots. Overmonnow. No friends. I had a crappy childhood. (:

Who was the last person that made you laugh? That would have been today in drama. Winf probably. Or Birdie. Or Downes.

Wednesday, 11 March 2009

I fail. when it comes to blogs and posting them, I'm a bit of ...

(woah, how is THIS song on my itunes?)

sorry, a bit of a fail..

(ahh, this song is MUCH better)

Okays, so I'll start from the shoot ages ago where I got a paintyface, and we drew a pretty picture on the drive.
my face itched, but it was fun. Dani wanted her face done, so I got to draw on her. Of course last time she let me draw on her face, this happened:
To be quite honest, I was a little suprised she let me anywhere NEAR her face a second time, but this one wasn't quite a disaster.
that was actually quite nice (:

okays, so then I won the modelling competition with this one, and I was a happy bunny:
And Dani came runner-up in her photography competition with the first picture I uploaded here (y'know...the one with the pretty picture and the mad artist and the paintey-face?)

so I've given up on taking a photo every day, it's not gonna happen, cause I am a failure at commiting to things #be it heart or hospitallll# (I have SUCH an urge for this song, but panic at the disco are currently playing through my headphones, and I don't turn panic at the disco off as a rule)

So there was some time that passed....y'know .. the usual crap, school, work, school, work, internetz, fall asleep on the sofa...get kicked off the sofa by mum who complains there's nowhere to sit (Even though there is another perfectly GOOD sofa a couple of metres away.)

So I'll skip to the next photography/modeling cometition photos
Dani's themes were emotion and fashion. Mine was catalogue. Here's a series of photos Dani skillfully took and edited, and I posed and clung onto charcoal. (: as you can see nothing happens in my life too much other than photos being taken of me.
Oh, I DID have my hair done today. Here is a picture:
I actually rather like it. (: